Instead of “What is your name?”, “What is your valued family name?” is the most common Chinese way to become acquainted with a stranger in social settings. Only a senior person would ask the other's given names or full names without being seriously rude.
Chinese Given Names are Used Between Close Friends
In Chinese society, family names are not only used in a formal settings but also in addressing anyone who is older than the speaker, using titles such as Mr. or Mrs. or indications of their professional status e.g. Dr., Teacher, Nurse, or Headmaster. To say “Nurse Wang” is much more acceptable than her first name “Jennifer”.
Frequently, in the case of friends or colleagues, family names can be used with a prefix “old” or “young/junior”. Again, “old Chang” or “little Chen” is more popular than given names. On the other hand, the Chinese character for “given name” (sounded “ming”) comprises two parts: “evening” and “mouth”, suggesting a given name which could be called out in the dark by close associates. (See the illustration)
Chinese Family Names Come Before Their Given Names
Contrary to Westerners’ form of address, family names are placed before the given name, e.g. “William Smith” will become “Smith William” in the Chinese language. This reflects the Chinese insistence that the family is more important than its individual members. Hence the translation of the Chinese word “xing” as English “surname” or “last name” creates confusion whereas “family name” would be a more appropriate version.
Ancient Chinese Family Names Came From Their Mothers
The Chinese character for family name “xing” comprises two parts: “female” and “birth”. (See the illustration) This demonstrates the matriarchal society in ancient China, most likely prevalent in the hunting age, when a child was given the mother's family name because it was too difficult to trace the father.
It was said in Chinese legend that only after Fu Xi Shi, the founder of animal husbandry in Chinese history, established rules of marriage that the children began to bear the father’s family names. This was probably made possible due to men settling down manage livestock.
In modern Chinese, when asking a person’s family name, only “xing” is used. However, originally there were two Chinese equivalents to “family name”: “xing”and“shi”. The former indicating family, clan, tribe, or village whilst the latter was a title bestowed upon a person by a political ruler. Therefore, marriage between those having the same “xing” was forbidden but “shi” imposed no such restriction.
Chinese Family Trees
The significant value of family in Chinese society makes the recording of family and clan's history and lineage, (including the origins of the family name, the migration patterns of the clan, etc.), one of their most important traditions. This practice at least was observed during the Shang Dynasty (1523-1028BC) when the family trees of the clans were written on turtle shells, cow bones and bronze. The written family trees are, straightforwardly, called “family records”(jia pu) in Chinese.
Chinese Family Trees Tend to Preserve for Posterity Their Achievements
The Chinese family trees normally contain entries about social evolution and the migrations of the people; they track the growth of the clan by details of their members’ political, military and academic achievements. Apart from information such as the ancestor's name and pseudonym, date of birth and date of death along with any official rank held, it also focused on extolling the clan's ancestors and encouraging the future generation to support worthy causes to maintain the good name of the clan.
Regrettably, Chinese family records usually do not allocate space for their female members other than merely listing their names. This again demonstrates that in Chinese families, greater emphasis is placed on the sons. When daughters marry, they are considered a part of their husband's family although their names are mentioned in both their maiden and in-law's family trees. They also retain their maiden names but add their husband’s family names onto the former.
Call Chinese Friends Old and Little
Using their family names rather than given names is the Chinese social practice. Do not be afraid to call a new Chinese acquaintances “Old Chang” or “Little Zhao”. This actually will make them feel that they now are regarded as friends. It is not at all intrusive to ask about their family life, saying “Are you married?” or “Has your sister got a job?” They would only feel that they were basking in the warmth of friendship.
Read more:
An Efficient Way to Learn the Chinese Language
Surnames in China are Useful Common Words
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